We have struggled with knowing “what to do” now that we are not spanking. I try not to say no unless I have to and I try not to engage her in silly battles (like whether bread is called a “bun” or a “bundle” — who cares?). If I waited till I was “ready” to apologize it could be too late. I could say “No, don’t hit the cat” 4264 times and the kid will keep doing it — or I can say “Come listen to music with me” and that’s the end of hitting the cat. The rod was constantly in the shepherd’s hand as he walked in front of the sheep and led the way. I still do all the cooking when I visit her, and she helps with my laundry if she stays with me. And how can i stop her pulling our kittens tail or leg, i really cant allow that as she could hurt or kill her. Right now my eldest got a bad habit from someone…. When things got tough I convinced myself that this was only a phase and these tantrums would be a thing of the past soon. They look at the end result. Then typically tantrum happens (then my husband is upset, occasionally spanks). Does the toy get taken and put up? My oldest is 4 and the little one is 2. We discuss the problem that led to the hitting (at least with the older ones, who can talk well) and then help them work it out with words, and remind them to use their words in the future. An 8-year-old sneaks junk food the minute his parents are out of his sight. it seems they do right most of the time or you don’t have to do time out or spankings so presumed they behaved appropriately. And my third child, who has never been spanked, has *never* thrown a public tantrum. (Fun fact: that brother is now grown with children of his own, and runs a tree-trimming and yard work service. Thank you! It’s been an exercise in getting myself in order and I’m still very much a work in progress, too. Wow, great ideas! There has been a study on spanking. I felt really bad for doing it, it was emotionally very hard. Hitting is what one does when angry. Thank you for posting this! LOVE THIS! It teaches a person to be responsible and respectful. If they choose to make the mess, hold them to cleaning it up. I also think that if you don’t require children to ask for forgiveness of a child when they hurt someone, and they get in a pattern of not asking for forgiveness, then as adults, they don’t see the necessity of making things right with someone that they have hurt. My six year old is one very strong willed and emotionally volatile child. I read your post on not spanking and am in complete agreement, I am going to stop spanking as well, but not having some sort of back up like timeouts seems a bit scary and extreme. As a Christian, I follow the New. It makes for an arrogant, unrepentant adult, who doesn’t care what other people feel. I thought you might enjoy it, Kate. A 6-year-old dresses himself right after breakfast without needing a reminder. You don’t see much “punishment” here. I have two children, one is six and one is 6 months old. When I explain to her my reasoning she usually will continue whining and arguing saying “but mama, I really want x, y, or z!”. he is very well behaved. But I have another kid who is easily stressed and when there is too much chaos, will run and hit or curl in a ball and cry (depends on the situation). I would like to add something quite personal. It is very, very hard to replace your habits and thought processes, but it is possible. is going to take to meet the goal, until we are already in the middle of our My little guy is 9 months old. My son will be 2 next month. I can’t avoid food shopping with him most times. Discipline brings stability and structure into a person’s life. Older kids (5 and up) can be reminded ahead of time “If you choose to make that mess, you will have to clean it up,” and they can decide if it’s worth it to them or not. And then there are those at church who still say “we don’t spank enough anymore and that’s what’s wrong with our kids” and they almost refuse to learn any other way. One of us will lie down with him until he’s settled. And follow it up with talking about the right response they should have had, repentance, and then lots of hugs. you from your goal. These are fantastic examples that I will be using with my children! One day last week I called “Meltdown City” because he was so angry and fussy all day. There would be consequences if he did, like going home immediately and not being allowed to shop with me the next time. I know this is a year and a half old, but I thought I may be able to lend a perspective on it. Other than that, just watch her and don’t leave her alone with him if at all possible. Topics: (Introductioiscipline in nature, Importance, How to learn, Licence and freedom, Conclusion) Discipline Essay & Paragraph – We act according to certain rules and principles at all educational institutions, at home, in public life and everywhere. Thanks for sharing!!!! Either way, she teaches some important things about self-discipline and leadership. An 8-year-old child declines to join her friends who are teasing another child. You discipline yourself to go to the gym every day. My goal is to teach you how to live your life free from Big Pharma, Big Food, and Big Government by learning about herbs, cooking, and sustainable practices. I show them how I do it and they often just jump in and help, because it’s “normal.” If you don’t model cleaning yourself, they will not do it. I’m hoping some of your suggestions help! I don’t know how you interpret this, but I don’t think that especially the last verse is talking about verbal instruction. to the undisciplined, those who are successful don’t look at the daily task. Both hubby and i come from a smacking family but that dosent work with her, it just esculates into a power struggle. It seems to me that these examples mostly deal with childishness rather than outright disobedience. I have taken away messy toys/games because they would not clean them up. “Your car seat stays strapped until the car is off” is one. He doesn’t care if we take away privileges, gets grounded or gets to stay up a bit longer. . She is an excellent child and mostly well behaved but when she cant get her own way, its dinner time and bed time she turns in to a monster! As … i dont want to raise a brat. I know I don’t need their approval but they see soanking as the only source of discipline. If they are spanked or not doesn’t seem to be that important — from what I’ve seen, anyway. Thank you for some tips about how another mom deals with little one issues. I didn’t have a choice to come back. is honesty. That’s the Old Testament. So to that end, I found this post extremely helpful! This story shows your make your life wrap around their behavior. I would venture to suggest that I think it is somewhat unfair to first (rightly) acknowledge that there are no studies done on spanking and then go on to state with certainty that spanking is incorrectly administered in most homes with most parents. Self-discipline is a character trait that most people admire. Both at school and at home they should be made to follow the rules of discipline. We discipline our children […] And in those cases it is absolutely best to instruct, train, practice, tell them what TO do, etc. . But it works! In the end she just gets her way, then I will clean up after her and hope that it will never repeat. Discipline is important even in domestic life. It is absolutely never, ever done in anger. That means you will require less mental energy to be self-discipline to work on it. and that never stopped it. After a particuly bad day yesterday i have decided something needs to change. Thanks again for the post! If they don’t have the option of eating junk, they won’t eat junk. And why is that when we try to change our habits by either breaking bad habits or building good habits, we only follow through for so long before we give up and revert to our old ways?The biggest problem, especiall… I struggle with positive discipline and can always use more inspiration! We watch and encourage and teach children how not to stray. Kids that were too young for certain tasks couldn’t sign up for them–one of my younger sister was super excited when she was finally deemed big enough to vacuum. I have noticed over time that spanking him made everything worse. My brother loves weeding and yard-work, but hates laundry to this day, while I gladly did everyone’s laundry in exchange for not having to do dishes, etc. They will set goals in their personal and professional life and work to accomplish those goals. That is important to me. Any suggestions? A positive attitude is necessary for a good life as ‘An attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference’. We all had certain things that we had to do, of course, like keeping our own rooms tidy, but the rest we could negotiate between ourselves. For example, in business disciplines, documents such as résumés, memos, and product descriptions require a specialized organization. […] Modern Alternative Mama – 9 Examples of Positive Discipline […], I love the heart of positive discipline and think it is much clearer way to draw children’s hearts to God. From that basic understanding of self-discipline we look at an example of a woman who exhibited great self-discipline in her own life, and reaped the rewards of her efforts – the “wife of noble character” described in Proverbs 31:10-31. They get mad, they yell, the kid still doesn’t listen, and they spank. Ask Him for wisdom and He will direct you. All successes in every part of your life are built on the foundation of discipline. The great men have made mark in their lives, because they strictly follow their goals with all the earnestness and sincerity. I definately don’t believe it is wrong to spank out of love, in fact we need to if the children aren’t grasping what is sinful behavior, such as lying, complaining and whining constantly, blatant disobedience bc he/she wants to do what they want to do! To get a bigger understanding of what self-discipline is, let’s look at some examples. Becoming a discipline person will likely be the hardest thing you do, but it can also become the most rewarding. This is exactly how we handle these situations in our home (our kids are 3 and 1). Our A bath, a favorite book or TV show, a cup of tea, whatever it is that you enjoy. Classroom discipline is a complex issue and a key concern for teachers, school administrators, students, and parents. People who follow discipline in their life are more likely to make better decisions. This results in a few things: 1. Discipline ensures individuals behave in an acceptable way at the workplace and also adhere to the rules and regulations of the organization. It isn’t realistic to expect kids 5 and under with too much energy to just be quiet and still. I’m extremely open-minded but I’ve seen children who never witness the fear of a spanking, they are in control, not the parents. Also, your description of the OT use of a rod is extremely flawed. ?—-We are having some issues with our older daughters, ages 9 and 7 with deliberate and repeated disobedience even when we are trying to implement the redirection and discussing the situation, etc. But, on to the practical examples of positive discipline. So many people say “How do you make them clean up? Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. I’m the author of Natural Remedies for Kids and the owner and lead herbalist at Earthley. Which is to be expected, especially the first week. Teach them how to do it repeatedly until you are sure they really understand — you might be surprised that they don’t. Thank you for this post. Self-discipline is the ability to do what is required to reach a goal even if you don't feel particularly motivated. We have been doing this since he was a few months old and I believe it is making a huge difference in his emotional development. I also think it’s important to discuss what to do during the protest to the rules. time and energy. It helps that we are both involved. It is never possible to control things coming your way. !” Well, first — I model doing it myself. Really God gives us the wisdom to effectively discipline each child in each situation, God knows our children’s hearts. Take my hand and take me to it.” Then even if the words aren’t so clear, they have an opportunity to make themselves understood. What I would like to know is what to do when you separate them for hitting and they walk right back out from their room and say “I won’t ever go to my room!” and when sent there a second or third time state that they are “going to destroy their room”. Answer me!!! Alice Miller wrote a book “For your own good” that I would highly recommend to anyone afraid of spoiling a child if sparing a rod. I feel like we are too far gone. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. They’ll become calmer and want to spend more time with you, and they’ll listen because they love you and want to make you happy. While her handwriting is pretty good for her age, it isn’t that nice! We’ve recently gotten back to our solid routine (it went down the drain with a new baby, but this has been going on before the new baby). A lot neater than mine, even! We clean up before lunch everyday and they don’t join us at the table until they’re finished. Forcing will not work; self discipline should be exhibited through examples and by looking at the long-term benefits. And you have to ask yourself which battles you want to fight. 3. As with any skill, you'll need to practice self-discipline on a daily basis. We talk about how unhealthy food, especially too much of it, can make you sick. He deserves that, and I agree with everything you said. Any suggestions for resources? The transition period is HARD. As a weapon against predators. First, “beating with a rod” really meant to beat your child, to the point of bruising, but without causing permanent damage or breaking any bones. I’ll do those chores in the evenings. You are not only in the good books of your superiors but also become a source of inspiration for your fellow workers. Time management is an example of such techniques of discipline that uses time as a regulator and employs the time observance as a governor. Kids sometimes misbehave because they got what you don’t want them to do, but they don’t know what to do instead. your life. If the Old Testament is flawed, then why did Jesus bother referencing it? 3. Self-discipline is an ability to do things that are difficult or unpleasant without anyone pushing you or offering you incentives. I love medical freedom, sharing natural remedies, developing real food recipes, and gentle parenting. Often, waiting for her to calm down after the promise of my “well deserved” and god sanctioned spanking made it all the worse. Most of the time. It is easy to gloss and we know it is not the solution so he(husband) asked me to email this to him so he can read it and i have to re read it a few time (perhaps even print it out) that way we practice positive discipline, and we also try to stay biblical but sometimes when your angry to shoe is quick to come off. Be clear about your expectations of yourself on ... Focus on one self-discipline skill at a time. Just recently the 2 oldest have been shoving and hitting (9 & 6) in addition to the not wanting to clean up. It’s a long process. If we really practice discipline in our student life, we encourage other students to be disciplined as well. The problem is that we rarely know how much effort it The rod corrected the course for the sheep. Discipline in sports provides you the power to stick to your decision and then follow it through. It’s easy to talk to them without seeming like they are babies and this really seems to help. Jesus never hit, so I don’t hit. You all have responsibilities. Whether you are trying to avoid social media to get more work All our juniors look surprised at this speech ceremony and must be curiously awaiting your Fresher’s Party. But what about the REAL stuff? Too many people think that not spanking means you just let your kids run wild. Since that’s probably how it goes down in a lot of homes, we can’t say that spanking is okay, in a general sense, or that “the right way” is better. It is plausible that discipline shapes the life of a person and creates a uniformity in life, as it designs the life of a person in systematic way. And I don’t see what you can do to a 18 months old who keeps undoing his car seat and getting out will benefit from anything else other than a spanking. Importance of Discipline in school life is very important for students. There is r… Remember this is what works in our home. I wish people would stop using spanking and hitting as if they meant the same thing. LOL. I would personally feel worse if someone said “sorry” to me insincerely! This is very helpful and I would like to read more on the subject. I truly feel like God directed me to this post! We reckon he feels understood and respected because we acknowledge his feelings. Anything dealing with serious health/safety issues is a firm, no-matter-what rule. I’m guilty of spanking & yelling, as is my husband. (Not looking for an argument – Just my 200 cents.). I was a high school teacher for a decade, but being a single mom is much more challenging and more rewarding. 3. This is of course my opinion, but it is an opinion based on experience. This usually happens while out. need to be set in stone. We don’t do Cane sugar or any desserts b4 bed. I so appreciated this post. My first child was nothing like this so I’m extra frustrated with this. so nice to see someone caring about others, like in stores, etc. They have strong emotions and they act on them without thinking. NOTHING will work 100% of the time because your child is HUMAN! All successes in every part of your life are built on the foundation of discipline. You persevere with your actions, behavior, and thoughts. progress. Becomes chaotic and anarchical man, highlights this with the rod spoil child. Was hurt and suggest they say sorry/make them feel better it comes to smaller children and we talk why! Have, it isn ’ t see much “ punishment ” here be conquered by your self ~ Hill. High levels of self-discipline in one ’ s not typically done “ the right amount of sleep for safety. Its fruits never get up to each person to decide what they believe about raising and. React differently he finally doesn ’ t think spanking is right for every situation she liked to people! 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